posted by @HeyItsKamo
What up, Freaks? What do you think of this season so far? Good? Awful? It’s a bit too early for me to decide, which is usually how it goes for AHS. Season 1 was great but then kind of fell off, while Season 2 didn’t have me hooked until the end- season 3 was pretty excellent from start to finish. Season 4 has potential to be one of the best so far, so we’ll have to keep watching.
Story lines to watch this week? Twisty the Clown (that’s apparently the murderous clown’s name) has certainly caught my (and everyone elses) attention the most so far- he seems to kill for no reason at all, but why keep those other kids alive? For fun? He seems to care about the boy that he kidnapped, he DID get him a toy robot after all… It’ll be interesting to see how he and the rich brat kid interact now that they have “teamed up”, although I’m thinking it’s going to end with one of them killing the other (if the brat kid even has the balls to kill someone). Tate and his desire to be accepted by “normal society” is also going to be interesting- I think we might see him meltdown in Carrie-esque fashion eventually, which would be great. That along with the fact that we know the Strongman is Tate’s father and he doesn’t will make for some good tv.
Other than that, what can I say about Tate that I haven’t said already? The boy has dicks for hands.
Episode 3, let’s go.
We’re in a weird-ass museum with messed up looking animals and body parts sitting in jars. Turns out that it is a museum for freaks, rightly named the American Morbidity Museum. It’s here in episode three that we’re introduced to two returning characters from previous seasons, Emma Roberts and Denis O’Hare (True Blood‘s Vampire King of Mississippi). He’s a doctor and is trying to sell a specimen (a baby sasquatch) to the museum- his outlook on the freaks at this museum is pretty simple: “They were losers in life, at least now they have some value.” After we find out that O’hare is a con-man, the woman that runs the AMM confides to the pair that her museum is failing, and she is willing to pay top dollar for legit freak parts to keep customers coming back. She tells them that she recently paid $5k for the liver of famous Siamese twins. The duo is headed to Florida to see what they can steal (they don’t out right say it, but they are gonna steal some shit, you better believe that).
Commercial, time for a beer.
Oh good, it’s Halloween. I wonder if we’re in for a two-part episode? Kids are running around a neighborhood, trick-or-treating, including one dude dressed like a clown. We see a little girl with her mom and it turns out the girl is scared of clowns- her brother dressed like one to be a dick. Classic. [Going to stop right here: girl is scared of clowns? Murder Clown is DEFINITELY going to show up at some point and murder/kidnap her]. Uh oh…..murder clown is here and he’s creepily staring at the little girl and she loses her shit. Her mother doesn’t give a fuuck. “I find clowns delightful.” What a bitch.
Bold move by the clown here, walking around during the day, but he’s got nothing to hide because it’s Halloween. His costume does look super elaborate though so I’m not sure how he would go unnoticed, a grown ass man walking around in a dirty/bloody clown costume…
Kathy Bates is at the doctor, beard and all. Turns out she’s got cirrhosis of the liver- the doctor gives her 6 months to a year to live. Other than that, Kathy Bates is very good this season.
The Freaks are having a Halloween party back at the circus. They are all going crazy, like, holy shit. Tate is still hung up about Meep, blaming himself for the murder, saying that the group needed a leader and he failed them. Two-headed woman feels bad for Tate (I think she’s got a two-headed crush on him) so she says that they should dedicate the Halloween performance of their show to his memory. But uh-oh, everyone goes ape shit again because FREAKS DON’T PERFORM ON HALLOWEEN…..you dumb bitch! Apparently everyone is superstitious about Edward Mordrake, which is a sick fucking story to add into this show. Basically, Mordrake was an aristocrat/noble with a face on the back of his head. The second face didn’t eat or speak or anything, but it told him (telepathically?) to kill and do evil things, “things that are only known in Hell.” He was very charming and a talented musician and poet, but his second face made him go crazy- he was sent to a mental institution. He eventually escaped from the mental hospital and joined a Freakshow. One Halloween night (a night just like this night, ooohhOOOHHH) he went crazy and murdered the entire troupe of freaks, and then hung himself. If a Freak performs on Halloween, they summon his spirit and he takes someone from that freakshow back to Hell with him.
The rich lady (I looked up the characters name on IMDB, it’s Gloria Mott) is having a Halloween party! The maid is dressed like Woody Woodpecker and she is so miserable and it is just such a great scene already. The brat kid (also looked up this characters name, it’s Dandy Mott, which is awesome) busts into the room and freaks out when he doesn’t like his Halloween costume. The maid gives him a piece of her mind while the mother runs out to buy a new costume, pissing Dandy off in the process- this dude is such a brat. Cut to Dandy up in his room making what looks like a clown costume…oh snap!
Cut to Meep’s damn funeral. Tate’s telling old stories about Meep, how he loved halloween and this and that, blah blah blah. Meep is DEAD, Tate! And it’s YOUR FAULT! Everyone at the funeral throw chicken heads in the grave instead of flowers and then start to bury him up. The girl from the freak museum at the beginning of the episode shows up and claims to be a fortune teller- she wants to join the circus.
I’ll be straight with you: I think AHS is pulling an Addams Family here. An Uncle Fester imposter showed up to rob the Addams’ but then fell in love with the family. Emma Roberts shows up to the Freakshow and is basically there to gain their trust and then the “doctor/con man” O’Hare is going to swoop in and steal something- or more likely someone- and sell their dead body to that lady from the Freak museum. I’m thinking the two-headed woman because if the museum paid $5k for a Siamese liver, what will they pay for an entire body?
Commercial, no more beer :(
We come back into what I have to assume is a dream sequence. The two-headed sisters are getting surgery to remove themselves from each other? Or the one sister paid a doctor to remove the other sisters head/kill her? How would this even work, like, biologically? Wouldn’t they both die if the other dies? Who has the heart? Who has the butt? The more goofy of the two is really scared but the other doesn’t give a fuck at all, she wants the other sister gone. They awake from the dream and the more levelheaded of the two reveals that she wants to find a doctor that will separate them from each other. Talk about awkward…
Cut to Elsa, who is smoking some god damn opium or something in her tent. The fortune teller tells her her future, but a quick sequence of camera cuts around Elsa’s tent makes it seem like she’s making shit up- she looked at some specific things around the room and it seems like she’s just winging it. She manages to trick Elsa, telling her exactly what she wants to hear and that she is going to meet a handsome man that will help invigorate her career (that’s gotta be O’Hare she’s talking about).
Cut to the Strongman lifting weights in his trailer and he’s about to bang the three titty lady, lets see them weird titties! He can’t get a boner though (haha) and she calls him out for it- not a smart move. He ends up getting super angry and lashes out at her. This makes me wonder the real reason they left the Chicago circus. I mean, we saw that they bounced because she was banging some random guy and Strongman killed him, but was she banging the other guy for extra money or because her husband couldn’t “satisfy her needs”. Kathy Bates talks to him after he storms out, and he tries to say he never loved her but he doesn’t seem sincere. She makes it clear that she doesn’t want him to ever tell Tate that he’s his dad.
Side note here: some of the shots this season are fantastic, this one in particular with Bates and Chiklis having their conversation with the back drop of a cloudy, massive sky. The shots of Twisty the Clown’s camp are also excellent.
Cut to Dandy, who is definitely a clown! He puts on this creepy plastic mask, not quite as creepy as what Twisty wears, but it’s still unsettling. They are going to be a funny contrast when we see them together, with Dandy’s clean and expensive looking costume and Twisty’s bloody mess of rags and skin-looking mask. Anyways, Dandy is walking through his house and my guess is his first victim is going to be the maid. Yep! He grabs a knife and stalks up to her. She says she isn’t afraid of him and taunts him into trying to kill her but he pussies out (called it).
Commercial, I found another beer >:]
Emma the fortune teller calls up her con man (boyfriend? father?). She wants to leave the circus because the freaks scare her, but the doctor tells her to stay to see what she can find out, they have to make some money. She tells him about the conjoined twins and he’s fucking PUMPED. They are definitely going to be kidnapping her at some point this season, no doubt about it. He is also about to bone a muscle dude that’s wearing a god damn viking costume. It is also insinuated in this scene that O’Hare has a huge dong.
Back to the two women from the beginning that were trick or treating with their kids. The girl that’s afraid of clowns is playing alone in her room and the way the camera approaches her, it seems like she is about to get the shit scared out of her/murdered. Nope, just her dick brother. BUT WAIT!! Here comes the real murder clown!!!! Murder time. Nope. Shit. The clown just stole him. Boooo!
The two-headed woman is on stage about to practice her performance (but what about Mordrake!?) but Elsa rushes in because SHE has to practice, and they argue about who the real star of the show is, but if it was up to me NEITHER of them would be. My show would be Meep spitting chicken heads at the woman with the three boobs and THAT’S IT. Elsa sings a weird German-accented version of Gods and Monsters by Lana del Rey and it’s only a little bit bad. Oh shit, she summoned that fucked up two face dude Mordrake! She seems pretty happy with herself but now hes gone. Does she want to die, or does she think summoning Mordrake will help her career/the Freakshow?
Back from commercial and Edward Mordrake is here for Kathy Bates! NOOOOOO! I hope she sacrifices the Strongman or something. Bates tells him story of her life in show business and how the Strongman fucked her over and sort of ruined her life. He also made her give birth in front of a crowd, advertising it as a Live Freak Birth. Strongman is a fucking DICK, yo. If Mordrake should take anyone to Hell with him it should be the Strongman (possible hint?).
Dandy shows up at the short bus, dressed like a fancy-ass clown, and he does a half-assed job of scaring the kids that are being kidnapped. Meanwhile, the REAL murder clown shows up the kid he stole earlier on, and he apparently dragged him the entire way back to his camp? Good LORD, he’s gotta have massive traps and shoulders to drag a body that fair.
To Be Continued, just like most Halloween episodes of AHS.
It’s going to be interesting to see what happens next week because Mordrake has to take someone with him. The preview kind of made it seem like he’s taking the Strongman back to Hell with him, but I’m leaning towards his wife being grabbed instead. The only thing I can’t see happening is them writing Angela Bassett off of the show, you know? Star Power and all that. Although, that would open up the story a bit more for himself and Kathy Bates, but I’m not sure if that’s even necessary. No doubt that Bates’ character will be dead by the end of the season.
Next week’s preview looks crazy, I am really excited to see what happens with Dandy and Twisty the Clown, Mordrake, and Emma Roberts and her fake(?) psychic powers. I’m leaning towards her getting called out and murdered OR she turns out to really be psychic. We’ll just have to wait and see!
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