posted by @HeyItsKamo

How is everybody feline this evening?

Have you ever played a game so fucking funny that you just had to tell everyone that you knew all about it? This is that type of game. Even though this title has been out for a while (summer 2011 or so), I fear that a lot of people just don’t know how awesome LoopyCube’s Pickpawcket is. It’s a story of lies, deceit, thievery, escape, and… cats and dogs?

That’s right, y’all! In Pickpawcket you play as a cat burglar who is literally a cat. The story is one we’ve all heard before: all of the art in Catville has been stolen by those jerk dogs (this is totally a Springfield vs Shelbyville scenario btw) and it’s up to our titular kitty cat hero sneak his way through four levels (Metrodogitan, Doggenheim, Wouffizi, and Spotsonian) to steal it back. For some reason, the dogs put the priceless stolen cat masterpieces in their own art galleries, which are protected by a team of guard dogs who are there to make sure that it stays put. Lucky for us, the dogs have horrible range of vision (this reminded me of the enemies in Metal Gear Solid), so our burglar breaks in to each gallery with the sole purpose of reclaiming the art work. By looking for patterns on each level, you are able to evade capture, steal the art back for your cat comrades, and make an easy escape- of course as the levels progress the difficulty rises, the guards become more aware of their surroundings, and the obstacles in Pickpawcket’s way become more challenging, but this cat has a few tricks in his bag to achieve his goal.

This game falls under the category of a “point and click” title, but it’s not so much clicking as it is pointing and directing Pickpawcket on where to go. Use use your finger (or whatever, hey, I’m not telling you how to live your life) to guide your cat burglar through each level, avoiding obstacles like laser beam sensors, gentleman guard dogs (suit coat and top hat included), bulldog guards, and once in a while a clickable gate that you can raise and close so you can venture on to the next obstacle. While avoiding the guard dogs, you can collect red cat shaped gems (rubies? I’m not sure, but there are three per level, so make sure you get ’em all for max points!) and other power-ups. My favorite helper in the game is the dog suit you can use, which is exactly what it sounds like- a dog costume that lets you hop around the level as you please, with no fear of being captured because, hey, you’re just another dog! Ha-ha, no cats here! Right?! Right…?

The dog disguise only lasts for a few seconds, so you need to choose wisely when you want to wear it. Television sets can be found on some levels, and if you decide to click on them, they will display a static screen that will distract the guards for a few seconds. You can also unleash (no pun intended?) squirrels on to each level, which the dogs go crazy for and cause them to forget about you completely. You can also stun the dogs by hitting them with A FUCKING HAMMER. Jeez, what is that about, huh? The stun only last for a few seconds, so use them sparingly.

You earn milk bottles for completing each stage (the better you score, the more bottles you get), which in turn you use at the store (milk locker) to buy power-ups and increase your cats abilities. Master of Disguise lets your dog disguise last longer, while Cat Speed does exactly what it sounds- gets your cat high as fuck. No, of course that’s a joke (but what if it wasn’t?)- Cat Speed increases your boys speed and lets him creep around levels much faster than usual. Short Sighted decreases the range of vision the guard dogs have, while the Cable Cat perk lets the television sets distract the evil doggies longer.

The best part of this game, besides the interesting gameplay, is the reward after each level: once you steal back the famous cat painting, you get to check it out in your gallery. All the paintings in the game are based on famous works of art, except the subject matter is substituted with cats. Every painting has a cat theme, from the Cata Lisa (wow, they really dropped the ball on the name here… the Meowna Lisa sounds waaay better) based on the famous da Vinci painting, to The Kitty Night based on Van Gogh’s The Starry Night, each painting is a gem and seeing just what the hell the though of next keeps you wanting to play this game. My favorite is their take on Georges Seurat’s “Sunday Afternoon” for obvious reasons.

This game is so damn fun. As far as apps go, this is for sure one of my favorites and the price only makes it all the better- it’s free! Even if I had to pay for this one, I would gladly turn over the $1.99 just so I could play this daily. Head over to the app store and pick up this puuurfect (sorry) game today!

Like this article? Fucking hate it? Let Mike know in the comments section!