posted by @HeyItsKamo

Guys, I’m drunk. I just discovered an Elk’s Lodge near my girlfriends house, and while she was sewing her Halloween costume, I got shit-faced very drunk. I was the youngest person there by a good twenty years, it was crazy. My new friend Mickey found out I’m a fan of Jack Daniels, and hooked me up with more than a few shots; I’ve never been a fan of Budweiser, but I’m not one to turn down a free beer.

This actually might be the best way to do this review -drunk- because the games are pretty weird and honestly, Mike reviewing something drunk might be more entertaining than sober (I learned a few things from Steve in terms of inebriated writing). So I’m going to go ahead, collect my thoughts, play these games for a few minutes, and re-group in the next paragraph.

Okay, y’all. Collecting my thoughts and playing a few games turned into me taking shots and petting a cat, but I’m back! The first app we’ll check out is a pretty fun game called Zombie Hop. This is one of those “hopper” games, where you control a character (in this case, a zombie dude) who is constantly jumping, and you need to guide him higher and higher, by way of floating platforms/land masses. You constantly rack up points, so long as your progress up the level. You collect random brains along the way, which score you some extra points (each brain rewards you with a multiple of 1000. So, if you collect a brain labeled as 5, you would receive 5000 points to your score- pretty neat, right?).

The game has great re-playability in that you want to see just how high of a score you can reach. There aren’t really many obstacles in this one (besides gravity, there are no enemies as far as I can tell): all you have to do is not fall off the ledge that you’re currently hopping on. I (drunkenly) found that the best was to succeed in this game is to jerk your wrist around like fucking crazy… hear me out. Moving your character from side to side let’s you gain momentum, which means you can jump higher and higher. If you can get a good rhythm going with this, you can jump super high over and over and just dominate the level- all you have to worry about is not falling down.

One thing that drew me in was the super goofy music and equally strange sound effects- I have to admit that the jumping sound effect gets pretty annoying after a while. It’s a ceaseless”bubble” sound that I’ve been forced to turn off a few times because it’s just so constant and irritating. If the only bad thing I can say about this game is one annoying sound effect, that should be enough to get you to download this title… plus it’s free!

Also on the list of “Rad Free Zombie Games & Apps”, comes a title from AwesomeWickedGames.com. Where’s My Zombies is a tap-and-go take on the “where’s the ace?” card game or “find the marble” game you see at busy street corners. The game is played like this: you begin a new round with three zombie heads. When ready, you tap the screen and a brain descends in to the center head. Then… CHAOS. The heads move all over the screen, mixing up and passing around one another for a good 5 seconds or so. Then, it’s your job to figure out which head has the brain inside. If you think you’ve got the correct head, tap it and the head will explode (thanks, awesome gunshot effect!) revealing either the brain or nothing. If the head is empty, you lose the round- three losses and it’s game over.

It sounds simple, but escalates pretty quickly. I think I made it to round 27 before I finally used up my three lives (it’s also not a good game to play while drunk because it either just confused the hell out of me or I would straight up stop paying attention and have no idea which head was the right one). Both the art and sound are fantastic- this game is worth a download (it’s free!) if not for the game itself, then to enjoy the colorful zombie heads. It has a ton of re-playability because, fuck, I want to make it to level 30!

I’ll keep searching for more zombie/monster related stuff to bring to you guys until Halloween!

Like this article? Fucking hate it? Let Mike know in the comments section?